It's Not Worth It!
In This Episode…
Living a life of peace is hard to come by, but doable. In this episode, Daree shares 5 things to consider when someone "tries you" or attempts to get on your LAST nerve.
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Key Points & What You Can Do
Ask yourself:
1- Is this issue (or this person's issues) WORTH my peace?
Your mental energy is needed for important decisions and situations... is this issue one of them? If so, resolve it as positively as possible and move on.
2- What do I have to gain?
What will you get out of arguing with this person? Are you talking to someone that only hears themself? Are you talking to a person who thinks that he or she is always right?
3- Will this issue really matter in the future?
Will this issue affect your relationship and your future for better or worse in a year from now? 5 years? Will you regret it on your deathbed?
4- Will my behavior jeopardize my character?
If you really want to know someone's character, watch how they act when they're angry. When the smoke clears, you don't want there to be any evidence that your words and your actions don't match. And if for some reason you do react out of character, you need to be quick to forgive yourself AND to seek forgiveness of the person you offended.
5- How can I avoid this situation (or this person) in the future?
Honestly evaluate your friendships, close relatives and co-workers. You cannot always eliminate toxic relationships, especially when it comes to work environments or certain family members, but you CAN minimize contact and set boundaries for how to interact with you. You can be assertive about the kinds of interactions you will not tolerate, such as raising of the voice, gossiping around you, being asked for money, or whatever the trigger is.
Links and Resources
Podcasts: Maintaining and letting go of friendships you've outgrown.
Blog Post: Dealing with Toxic People (by Daree Allen)
Blog Post: We Have to Allow Our Friendships to Evolve (by Natalie Lue)